Charity

I won $1M in the lottery

I gave a quarter of it to charity, and put the other $999,999.75 in the bank.

Pavlov's dogs have started a charity for the holidays...

It's called "The Salivation Army"

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

I had five hundred Hershey Bars in my fridge and my friend had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.

That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.

A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked me if I fancied taking part in a marathon

I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties.

I thought, fuck me, I might win this