Chess jokes

I need to get a new chess set because all my pawns are damaged and sticky.

I should have never left them in the same box as the bishops.

What do chess and eating at a restaurant in Australia have in common?

They both end with a check mate

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess?

Because he is dead.

My dad used to beat me while playing chess...

Because I'd always win.

A group of chess enthusiasts check into a hotel...

They stand in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager comes out of his office and asks them to disperse. "But why?" they asked as they move off. "Because," he says, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

What do you call adult-only Chess videos?

Pawn

The First Rule Of Alzheimer's Club,

Is Don't Talk About Chess Club.

Sex is like Chess

Every move you can think of already got a name

You can never enjoy a game of Chess against an Australian.

Everytime he checks, you'll think he's won the game.