Contacts jokes

Elevators are a lot like urinals

Everyone’s looking down, nobody’s making eye contact, and my penis is exposed.

The contact lens is mans greatest invention

At least in my eyes

a man gets pulled over by a cop, and is asked for his license

officer: it says on your license that you need to be wearing glasses. driver: i have contacts. officer: i don't give a fuck who you know, buddy.

To the person who stole my glasses...

I will find you. I have contacts.