Invention jokes

Whosoever invented "dentures" missed out on calling them ...

"Substitooths".

Fun fact

Before the invention of the crow bar most crows got drunk at home

Where were thr first gas cars invented?

In Africa, they Madagascar.

The guy who invented USB died...

At the funeral they had to do a 180 with his coffin to get it in the hole.

The contact lens is mans greatest invention

At least in my eyes

Son: Dad, does every father know more than his son?

Dad: Of course.

Son: “So, who invented the electric bulb?”

Dad: “Thomas Edison.”

Son: “But why didn't Edison's father invent the electric bulb?”

Dad: “It was dark everywhere, he was busy inventing Edison.”

People say I'm crazy for trying to invent a mind-controlled air freshener...

but it makes scents when you think about it.

The man that invented throat lozenges died last week...

There was no coffin at the funeral.

Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.

But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.

The person who invented autocorrect died recently.

May he roast in piss.

I invented a SJW alarm clock.

It not only tells you the time, it reminds you what year it is, too.

The man that invented human cloning has died .

The mourners will probably be beside themselves at the funeral.

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says they've invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it's okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until the machine is at 100%. The man still feels nothing, so they go home happy until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

A Greek and a Italian are having a beer.

The Greek Says "You know, we invented sex." Then the Italian turn's and looks at him. "Well we brought women into it."

how many Indians does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Two. One to do the task and other to explain how lightbulbs were actually invented in ancient India.

The man that invented auto correct

should burn in hello.

The guy who invented Velcro died

RIP

Did you hear? They invented a new shovel!

It's ground breaking!

Do you think the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying . . .

"If you build it, they will come."

Did you know toothpaste was invented in the southern states?

otherwise it’d be called teethpaste.