Contest

A man sends 10 puns to a pun contest in hopes that at least one of them would be selected as the winning entry

No pun in ten did.

When you take a pen name ....

... that's a nom de plume.

When you take a name for war, that's a nom de guerre.

When you take a name for an eating contest, that's a nom de om nom nom.

I submitted ten puns into a pun contest, wanna know how many won?

No pun in ten did

I entered my Chihuahua in an 'ugliest dog' contest and I won first place!

My dog came in third.

I just won a farting contest.

The judges were blown away.

My grandad just passed away...

We were really close and he was always competitive with me. No matter what game we played, tennis, cards, or even Xbox he would always try to win.

So it was only fitting that, and I’ll never forget this, on his death bed, as he breathed his last breath. He looked at me in the eyes and said...

"Staring contest... GO."

Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are discussing their countries, and decide to have a contest to see whose soldiers are more obedient.

They are in a hotel at the top of a mountain near a cliff.

Vladimir Putin instructs a soldier to run and jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!" Putin lets him go.

Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier runs to jump off the cliff. Putin grabs him before he can, telling him not to jump. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!"

Man: Judge, I want to contest 80% of my parking tickets.

Judge: Repeat infractions?

Man: Ok. I want to contest 4/5 of my parking tickets.