Superman was flying over a city NSFW
And he sees Wonderwoman laying naked on a rooftop patio in the sun. He swoops down and before she knows it, he rails her and flies off. "What was that?" she cries. The invisible man says "I dunno, but my asshole sure hurts."
Why was the anti-vaxxer's 5 year old child crying?
Midlife crisis
Finally realized why the end of my rifle always tastes so salty
Because whenever I put it in my mouth I’m always crying
My buddy told me he always cries after sex.....
I told him it was his fault for getting sent to prison in the first place
This one time, I cried, when my dad chopped up Onions.
I loved Onions, she was such a nice, sweet, little puppy
A guy took his small daughter with him to work one day...
After he introduced all the other employees to her she began to cry. He asked her what the matter was and she said, "You told Mom that you work with a bunch of clowns. Where are they?"
Movies are too violent
A lot of Critics have been saying that movies now days are way too violent. To test this theory I took a nine year old boy to go see Gladiator, and he cried the whole movie.
Now it may be because he didn't know who I was.
When my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant I started crying in despair
I know too well what is it like to grow without a father ...
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat.
After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?”
“The cat is dead,” he replied coldly.
She cried out and said, “You could have said the cat is playing on the roof on the first day, and the next day, it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing’s dead!
No reply. The wife sighed sadly, “Anyways, how’s my mom?”
“She’s playing on the roof.”
A wife texted her husband
A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!" The husband, typically non-romantic, replied: "I am on the toilet. Please advise."
9 Blondes and 1 Brunette are holding onto the wing of a weighed down rapidly descending aircraft.
They all realize one must let go to save the rest of them.
The plane is about 1000 meters away from crashing, when the brunette starts to say that she will heroicly let go of the wing of the plane to save the 9 others.
She gets a few a tears and cries of “Nooo” but as she finishes, all the Blondes clap.