David

My brother David had his ID stolen

Now he's just Dav

I felt like a fool when I bought David Bowie tickets for my son and then remembered that he died last year...

Even more so when I remembered that David Bowie died too.

David Cameron

Went to his local butcher. He asked the butcher for a steak. The butcher asked "what is your favourite cut?", David replied, "the public sector".

Two homeless guys were sitting with a sign pointing to one of the guys that reads, "I bet you $2 you can't hit John with a quarter".

A man flicked a quarter at him, and hit him. When the man asked for his $2 for hitting him the homeless guy replied, "you didn't hit john. This here is David".

David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a drink. "It’s a pleasure to serve you Mr Hasselhoff,” said the bartender.

“Just call me Hoff,” he replied.

“Sure,” said the bartender. “No hassle.”