Butcher jokes

I walked past the butchers and saw a sign in the window

"Wanted: Apprentice"

So I went inside and asked the butcher what happened to the old one.

He said "I had to fire him"

I asked "why?"

He replied "I caught him sticking his dick in the bacon slicer"

"Oh dear" I said "and what happened to the bacon slicer?"

He said "I fired her as well"

Meat

Meat

I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn’t reach the meat that was on the top shelf

He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high.

Steak

Steak

David Cameron

Went to his local butcher. He asked the butcher for a steak. The butcher asked "what is your favourite cut?", David replied, "the public sector".

Animal

Animal

Not quite what she was expecting...

Guy: I work with animals every day!

Girl: That's so sweet! Are you a vet or a pet shop own-

Guy: I'm a butcher.

Work

Work

The butcher backed up to the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.