Gym jokes

A man walks into a gym and kills everyone there brutally

After the investigation, the police state that the victims could only be described as ripped and shredded

This guy came up to me in the gym.

He said, hey...what's your secret?

I said, I poo with the door open

Saw an amputee in the gym today..

Couldn't help but wonder if he skips on leg day.

A man was trapped under a bench press

A man in the gym was at the bench press when the barbell fell on top of him. Despite them being strong, no one could lift the barbell off of him so the man that was trapped tells someone to call a therapist which they do. When the therapist arrives, he asks the man why he called him and the man says "I need to get something off my chest"

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.

He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says.

He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband either."

He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.

"Wait a minute," she says. "He's not even a member of this club."

You're so unfamiliar with the gym...

You call it James

"My vagina is like the local gym," said my wife.

"What?" I asked. "Hot and sweaty?"

"No," she replied. "Only a few members use it regularly."

At the gym

I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out, I ask the guy who is running the gym, “Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies?” He smiles says “Try the ATM in the lobby”.

Today at the gym I asked a girl what her new year's resolution was.

She said "Fuck you".

So I'm pretty excited for 2019.

I just broke up with my lazy gym buddy.

Didn’t work out.