Hooker jokes

So a guy buys a $5 hooker.....

They have sex and the next day the guys realizes he has crabs. The guy goes back the next day to complain and demand a refund

The hooker goes "It was only $5, what did you expect? Lobster?"

A hooker goes to the doctor

She tells the doctor she feels nauseous, after few tests the doctor comes back to tell her that she's pregnant

"Congratulations, so do you know who's the father?"

"If you ate a can of beans, would you know which one caused the fart?"

Whats the difference between a politician and a hooker?

A hooker will stop fucking you once you run out of money.

A hooker walked up to me....

And said "I'll suck your dick for $20."

I said "Let me see the $20 first."

What do a bungee jumper and hooker have in common?

They are fast, cheap and if the rubber snaps your fucked.

What do you call a hooker's fart? ...

... A Prosti- Toot!

For an old man's 98th birthday,

his 3 grandsons paid for a hooker and sent her to his home. When the old fella opened the door he asked what a pretty girl like her was doing at his home. She replied "I was sent here as a gift to you" The old man asked "What is it that you do?" Hooker says "Im well known for my super blowjobs" Grampa says "Since I aint had a hard on in 10 yrs, I guess I'll have to settle for the soup"