A hooker goes to the doctor
She tells the doctor she feels nauseous, after few tests the doctor comes back to tell her that she's pregnant
"Congratulations, so do you know who's the father?"
"If you ate a can of beans, would you know which one caused the fart?"
An old woman decides to get a physical after a number of years.
While the doctor is examining her she mentions that over the years she has learned to fart silently and they never smell anymore. The doctor said "Ok, that's great", finishes up the exam, gives her a prescription and tells her to come back in a couple of weeks. When she returns, she complains that her farts now smell awful. "Good" he said. "Now that we've cleared out your sinuses let's work on your hearing."
I farted in my church’s confession booth
I said to the priest, “Forgive me father, for I have wind.”
Confucius say:
Man who fart in church, sit in his own pew.
Good Kid!
A father had a rather dim-witted son. One day, the son came home from school. His father asked him, "How was school, son?" His son replied, "Great dad! My teacher asked a question, and only I could answer!" His father was overjoyed. He probed, "Good kid! What was the question?"
His son replied, "She asked, 'Who farted?' "
A man and a woman were in bed getting ready to sleep...
...sudendly the man farts and tries to think of an excuse.
-1:0 I am winning, - says the man. Few moments later the woman lets out a big fart.
-1:1 draw, - says the woman with a smile on her face.
Man does not want to lose so he tries and tries to fart very hard. Sudendly he farts and craps all over his bed side.
-Half time break, change of sides, - says the man calmly.
I just won a farting contest.
The judges were blown away.
A relationship is like a fart
If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
I farted in an Apple store and everyone got pissed
It’s not my fault they don’t have Windows!
I farted in a room of hipsters
I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
What do you call a hooker's fart? ...
... A Prosti- Toot!
A woman went to the doctor and told him " I keep farting a lot but, my farts don't smell at all, see I farted 7 times since I came here and you didn't even notice"
The doctor gave her some drugs and told her to come back to me after 10 days.
10 days later the woman came back and it was clear that she's frustrated, she told him that the drug he gave her only made the matter worse and that now her farts smell really bad.
The doctor calmly said : "great, now that we fixed your nose it's time to tackle that farting thing".