Job interview

I had a job interview yesterday, I poured myself a glass of water and it overflowed slightly

"Nervous?" asked the interviewer, I simply replied "No I always give 110%."

What’s the worst thing to say in a job interview?

This place is 5k from a school, right?

At the job interview, I asked what is the salary like. They said I'll start at minimum wage and make double of that in two years.

Ok, I'll be back in two years.

I went for a job interview today to work for a blacksmith

He asked if I had any experience in shoeing a horse?

I said ”No! But I once told a donkey to fuck off!”

At the job interview...

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in three years?

Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision

The Job Interview

Me: "Time travel"

Potential Employer: "What would you say is your greatest stre-WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Yesterday, in a job interview, the guy asked me if I could perform under pressure.

I said no, but, I would give Bohemian Rapsody a go.

Job Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I guess my biggest weakness is I am not always a good listener

Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself.

Me: I'd rather not... I kinda want this job.

ME: When's the right time to ask a girl for anal?

INTERVIEWER: I meant; do you have any questions about the job.

A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.

The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"

The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."

The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"

The man is super happy and says "Yay, I got a yob!"

I was at a job interview today...

When the manager handed me a laptop and said,

“I want you to sell this to me.”

So I put it under my arm, left the building and went home.

Eventually he called me and said, “Bring my laptop back now.”

I said, “£200 and it’s yours.”