Upon waking, a woman said to her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?"
The man smiled and kissed his wife. "You'll know tonight," he whispered.
That evening, the man came home with a small package which he gave to his wife. She jumped up and embraced him, and then settled on the couch to slowly and delicately unwrap the package.
It contained a book entitled, 'The Meaning of Dreams'.
A woman was in her physician's office when she suddenly asked him to kiss her
He replies, "I can't, that would be against my code of ethics" Twenty minutes went by and the woman again pleaded for him to kiss her. Once more he refused, explaining as a doctor he simply could not. After another 15 minutes passed, the woman begged him again. "Look, I'm sorry. I just can't kiss you. In fact," he sighed, "I probably shouldn't even be fucking you."
Why doesn’t Oedipus swear?
Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
Have you heard of an Australian kiss?
.. it’s like a French kiss but down under!!
Why did the capacitor kiss the diode?
He just couldn’t resistor.
I was passionately kissing a Thai woman. I gently slid my hand up her thigh until I reached her panties, then I touched her crotch and I couldn't believe what I felt.
A vagina.
Have you heard the disease you get from kissing birds?
It's called Chirpes.
It's a canerial disease.
It's untweetable.
I saw two lesbians kissing in the park.
"There's a time and a place for that," I told my wife.
She said, "Yeah..."
I said, "It's 9pm and my house."
I can't believe the vulgar language kids are using on Xbox Live.
Do they kiss my mother with that mouth?
She dimmed the lights. She leaned in. She looked straight into my eyes.
I kissed her.
And now I am arrested by the police for misbehaving with the optician.
NSFW Nearly humped a ladyboy
In Thailand and man it was so close, she looked like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady, kissed like a lady.. It was only when she drove me home and reversed perfectly into my drive 1st time, I thought to myself, "hang on a fuckin minute"!