Lawyer jokes

“Fucking kids are expensive”, I said

“Is”, my lawyer replied.

How many dead lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

More than 6, because my attic is still dark. Very dark.

Sinking Ship...

A pediatrician, a lawyer, and a priest were on the Titanic while it was going down. The pediatrician said "Save the children!" The lawyer said "Fuck the children!" To which the priest replied "Do we have time?"

2 lawyers are in a restaurant eating their sandwiches.

The owner walks in and says, "You can't eat your own food in here!"

The lawyers sigh and swap sandwiches.

The divorce lawyer told me to get my affairs in order.

I said alphabetically or by age

Why can't Irish men be lawyers?

They can't pass the bar.