Lettuce jokes

Man

Man

A man walks into the doctor's office and immediately drops his pants....

The doctor sees a small leaf of lettuce hanging from the man's anus. (Rather redundantly) he asks "What seems to be the problem here?" "Oh doc," the man replies, "that's just the tip of the iceberg."

Pun

Pun

What did the preacher say at the vegetable mass?

“Lettuce pray for peas on Earth.”

Then

“Why do I bother with puns, everyone here’s brain dead.”

Brother

Brother

My autistic brother just told me this one lmao.

Him: What's the most autistic vegetable?

Me: What?

Him: ice-sperg lettuce!

Farmer

Farmer

What do farmers say when they want to party?

Hay, lettuce turnip the beets

Chicken

Chicken

What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad

Tip

Tip

Today I ran out of toilet paper and had to resort to lettuce leaves.

Today was just the tip of the iceberg.