Lightbulb

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, obviously. How they got inside the lightbulb is the part I don't understand...

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They will never allow change, even if it makes the world a brighter place.

How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb?

One.

But it takes the whole emergency room to remove it.

How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two.

One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

How many 'Nam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?

YOU DON'T KNOW MAN, YOU WEREN'T THERE!

How many South Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A Brazilian

How many guys in the friendzone does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just stand around and compliment it, and then get pissed when it won't screw

how many Indians does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Two. One to do the task and other to explain how lightbulbs were actually invented in ancient India.

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but the trick is finding two people small enough to fit IN the lightbulb...

How many Apple engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They no longer make that socket, you just buy a new house.

How many trans women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, and you don't even need the lightbulb. Just tell her she's a lovely girl, and she'll brighten up the room instantly.

How many dead lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

More than 6, because my attic is still dark. Very dark.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in and another to show his dick to an intern once the light's on.