Irishman

An Irishman walks into a bar full of Englishmen. Looks around, and then says: "Right, this looks like a fair fight."

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?

Rick O'Shea

Firemen are called to a burning pub. They drag out an Irishman and asked him how the fire started.

"I don't know." He says, "It was on fire when I went in there."

How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two.

One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman went to a bar.

They all had to leave because the Englishman wanted to go.

A Irishman, Mick goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain...

Doctor: "Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking" Mick : "Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"

A Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane.

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

How many Potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

# None

Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his bean soup?

Because one more would be too farty