A Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane.
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."
As I stood before the airline ticket agent, I said "I want to buy a ticket to London. But I want one bag to go to Tokyo and the other to Moscow."
"Sir, we can't do that," the ticket agent exclaimed.
"Why not?" I asked. "You did it to me last time I flew with you."
Apparently someone in London is stabbed every 58 seconds.
Poor bastard.
2 Germans in a bar in London:
\- 2 Martinis, please.
\- Dry?
\- NEIN! ZWEI!
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London
The waiter tells them, "Excuse me -- if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease."
The Texan says, "What's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "What's a steak?"
The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"
