A Marine, A Navy SEAL, and a Delta Force member are sitting around a fire....
The marine says, "I once killed 50 enemy combatants with a single belt of my M249." The Navy SEAL says, "I wiped out an entire enemy compound with my K-Bar." The two look at the Delta Force and expect him to pipe up, but he just stares at the fire, stirring the coals with his penis.
As I laid in bed looking up at the night sky, I pondered to myself...
What the hell happened to my roof?
So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now take off my bra and panties." and so I took them off.
Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
"Have you ever seen a twenty pound note all crumpled up?" asked the wife.
"No," I said.
She gave me a sexy little smile, reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note.
"Have you ever seen a fifty pound note all crumpled up?" she asked.
"No," I said.
She gave me another sexy little smile, reached into her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note.
"Now," she said, "have you ever seen 30,000 pounds all crumpled up?"
"No," I said, intrigued.
"Well, go and take a quick look in the garage."