A guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging on the wall.
He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the steaks are too high.
Ladies call me Subway...
because I’ve got low quality meat and lie about being 6 inches
How do you cook alligator meat?
In a croc pot!
What does tofu and a dildo have in common?
They’re both meat substitutes.
I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn’t reach the meat that was on the top shelf
He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high.
Why don't vegans moan during sex?
They don't want anyone to know they're enjoying a piece of meat.
As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting.
But apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.
The butcher backed up to the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
A man walks into a bar, and the second he does, the bartender tells him of a bet.
He says, "You see that meat on the ceiling? You have three tries to grab it. If you grab it within three tries, you get free drinks for life. If you don't, you've got to buy the whole bar a round."
The man contemplates for a while, but eventually answers. "Nah, I'll pass. The steaks are too high."
I was eating a steak in my favorite restaurant, when a girl came to my table and shouted at me: "Enjoying your meat, murderer?!"
Seriously Rachel it was 15 years ago and your dad had a knife. Jeez.
Oh deer...
One even, husband came home from a day of hunting and brought home a deer. He suggested to his wife that she should cook the deer meat but don't tell the kids what's for dinner. Wife agrees and cooks the deer meat.
Later that evening the husband, wife and the kids, all gather at the table for dinner...
Son - "mmmm smells good ma., what is it?"
Wife - "I'll give you a hint. It's what I call your father all the time."
Daughter - "SPIT IT OUT BILLY., IT'S AN ASSHOLE!!!"