Metal jokes

My wife said my stew was too salty, was far too watery and left her with a strange metallic after taste.

Bitch... I put my blood, sweat and tears into that dish.

So my mate was welding the other day

While grinding off his work to admire his craftsmanship, a piece of metal flew into his eye.

Score 1 for wearing safety glasses.

Anyway, he complained he couldn't see, so we packed him off down to the hospital.

After an X-ray and scan the doctor comes in and says "You have Creepy Teacher Syndrome"

"Creepy teacher Syndrome?"

"Yes," the doctor replies, "You've fucked one of your pupils"

Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.

All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together

At first it's boring, then it's riveting.

Two electric windmills are standing in a field.

One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?" The second one replies "I'm a huge metal fan".

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron.

Which is ironic.

What do you call a dog with no back legs and metal balls?

Sparky