A wife desperately tries to prove to her husband that her affair is over.
He had already forgiven her, but still hadn’t spoken to her in days. The only thing she could think of, is that he must still not trust her. To convince him, she cut her ex lover’s obituary out of the newspaper. Her affair ended long before the accident, but she thought she could ease her husband’s mind once and for all.
“You see,” she told him, “he was struck by a drunk driver.”
“I wasn’t drunk.” He replied.
Did you hear about the guy who escaped from a lunatic asylum, raped a bunch of old women in a laundrette then ran away?
The newspaper headlines the next day read:
#**NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**#
Cockroaches can survive a nuclear fallout but dies when you swat them with a newspaper...
Shows how toxic our media is...
I visited my granddaughter last weekend.
I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century", she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.".
Well I can tell you this, that fly never knew what hit him.
I asked my Granddaughter to give me the newspaper. She said that newspapers are so out of date, and that people now use tablets, so she handed me her iPad.
That Fly didn't stand a chance.
I told my teenage niece to go get me a newspaper...
She laughed at me, and said, "Oh uncle you're so old. Just use my phone."
So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.