I picked up a hitchhiker last night.
He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger and asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"
I told him the chances of two serial killers being in one car would be astronomically low
9 Blondes and 1 Brunette are holding onto the wing of a weighed down rapidly descending aircraft.
They all realize one must let go to save the rest of them.
The plane is about 1000 meters away from crashing, when the brunette starts to say that she will heroicly let go of the wing of the plane to save the 9 others.
She gets a few a tears and cries of “Nooo” but as she finishes, all the Blondes clap.
I caught my husband going to a brothel and I'm not sure what to do now.
On the one hand he is unfaithful, but on the other hand it was nice that he visited me at work.
Chinese takeout, $15.00, gas to get there, $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes.
Riceless.
Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his bean soup?
Because one more would be too farty
Limericks by Jenny
There was a young woman named Jenny
Whose limericks were not worth a penny.
Oh, the rhyme was all right,
And the meter was tight,
But whenever she tried to write any,
She always wrote one line too many.
A topless woman robbed a bank.
No one remembers her face.