Gas jokes

Where were thr first gas cars invented?

In Africa, they Madagascar.

Have you heard of the sexual maneuver called the "Reverse Hitler"?

It's where you ejaculate inside of an anus. i.e. create 6 million lives in a gas chamber.

Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier.

He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.

What kind of running means walking?

Running out of gas!

I don’t usually brag about going to expensive places

But I just left the gas station.

What’s a three letter word that starts with gas?

Car

There are 4 states of matter... Solids, Liquids, Gases, and

Black lives

So my oilfield is haunted, turned out quite profitable...

Now I can sell Super-Natural Gas!

I got gas today for $1.39.

Unfortunately it was at Taco Bell.

Why did Hitler commit suicide?

Because he saw the gas bill

Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

President Biden has announced water is now only legal in three states.

Solid, liquid and gas.

A man was filling up gas in his car when he got some on his jacket

Then he went in the car and lit a cigarette and catches his sleeve on fire. The man, freaking out, gets out of the car and sees a policeman sitting nearby. So he starts waving at him and yelling at him for help, and the cop gets up in a hurry and without a second delay shoots him. The man, now on the ground in excruciating pain asks why he shot him the cop says “what was I supposed to do? you were waving a firearm!”

Chinese takeout, $15.00, gas to get there, $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes.

Riceless.

Before my surgery, my doctor offered to put me under with gas, or just knock me out with a boat paddle...

It was an ether/oar situation