Pants jokes

What is the difference between a man and a dog?

A man wears a suit and the dog, pants.

in for a penny, in for a pound

A farmer is in the outhouse, and when he pulls up his pants, a quarter rolls out of his pocket and falls down the hole. He swears and pulls out his wallet and throws down a $5 bill. Later as he's telling his wife about the ordeal, she asks, “Wait, why’d you throw in the $5 bill?” He replied, “Well I wasn't about to go down there for a quarter!”

A pirate walks into a bar with a peg leg, an eyepatch, a parrot on his shoulder and a steering wheel in his pants.

The bartender says, “you’ve got a steering wheel in your pants”.

The pirate replies with, “arrr, I know, it’s driving me nuts!”.

I went to my doctor to have him look at some strange spots on my arse. I pulled my pants down, he took a look and responded..

Weird flecks; butt ok.

I went to a gender reveal party.

It wasn't quite what I thought it would be.

My host told me to put my pants back on and get the hell out of there.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants...

The bartender looks over and says, "Get the fuck out of my bar, we're sick of hearing this goddamn joke."