Pirate jokes

What's a pirate's favorite element?

Gold, duh. What the fuck is a pirate going to do with Argon?

What do lesbian pirates say while having sex?

“Scissor me timbers”

How much did the pirate pay to have his ears pierced?

A buccaneer :D

What is a pirates nightmare date?

A girl with a sunken chest and no booty

What do you call a communist pirate ship?

The USS-ARRR

What do you get when you cross a pervert with a pirate?

AAARRRRRR Kelly

I, for one, think it’d be hilarious if there were female pirates.

Wooden-tit?

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Sir,

We have terminated your internet service due to illegal copyright violation practices.

Sincerely,

Your ISP

A pirate goes to a doctor

worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. The doctor inspects them. "It's ok," he says. "They're benign." The pirate replies "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!"

When receiving payment in gold coins, pirates used to verify their purity by biting into them

In other word, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back

What is a pirate's favourite letter?

He doesn't have one. He's illiterate.

Why did the pirate take so long learning the alphabet

Because he spent years at C

What’s the difference between a casual dress party and an orgy with pirates?

One, you come as you are, and the other, you “arrr” as you cum!

What's a pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Sir/Madam,

We are writing this letter to inform you that your account has been suspended for illegal downloading of copyrighted material

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye matey

A pirate walks into a bar with a peg leg, an eyepatch, a parrot on his shoulder and a steering wheel in his pants.

The bartender says, “you’ve got a steering wheel in your pants”.

The pirate replies with, “arrr, I know, it’s driving me nuts!”.

On Halloween, a little boy dressed as a pirate.

He went up to a house and rang the doorbell. A man answered and said, "Well I'll be, a pirate! But where are your buccaneers? The little boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

My brother did one like that after a long string of pirate jokes.

"What's a pirate's favourite crime?"

"Arrrrson," I said, chuckling at my cleverness.

"You idiot," he replied, "it's obviously Piracy."

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants...

The bartender looks over and says, "Get the fuck out of my bar, we're sick of hearing this goddamn joke."