Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it.
Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that.
The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her panties!"
"That's nothing," says the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
What is the difference between one night stand, long relationship and marriage?
in one night stand you tear off the panties
in long relationship you gently remove the panties
in marriage you wash and dry the panties. then fold them and put them in the clothes cupboard.
I was passionately kissing a Thai woman. I gently slid my hand up her thigh until I reached her panties, then I touched her crotch and I couldn't believe what I felt.
A vagina.
A man and his wife went fishing one day. As they were fishing, they spotted the Coast Guard coming towards them.
The wife said,
"Honey, we caught four fish, and we are only allowed three, so lets throw one back into the sea."
The husband said,
"Are you mad, woman, that's our food for tonight. Take one fish and hide it in your panties."
The wife said,
"And what about the smell???"
The husband replied,
"Just block the fish's nose...."
Panties are not the best thing in the world
But they're close to it
So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now take off my bra and panties." and so I took them off.
Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
