Difference jokes

What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian?

The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.

What’s the difference between weather and climate?

You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.

What's the difference between a 4 year girl and a 40 year old woman?

A 4 year old's favourite toy is a rubber body without any genitals. A 40 year old's favourite toy is a rubber genital without any body.

Two CSS properties walk into a bar.

A barstool in a completely different bar falls over.

What's the difference between a vegan and a straight male submissive?

A vegan craves umami. A male sub craves "ooh mommy".

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.

What's the difference between an onion and a prostitute?

I cry when I chop up an onion

What’s the difference between science and religion?

Science flies you to the moon while religion flies you into buildings.

What is the difference between a gun with a bent barrel and a constipated owl?

One can shoot but not hit, and the other can hoot but not shit.

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

What's the difference between an American girl and a Muslim girl?

The American girl gets stoned before sex.

What is the difference between Disney and brazzer?

Disney teaches you how to hate your step mom while Brazzer teaches you how you can show your love.

What’s the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish?

15 seconds, give or take.

What's the difference between a woman and a computer?

A computer accepts a 3.5 in. floppy.

What’s the difference between an orchestra and a bull?

On a bull, the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?

One looks up your family tree, the other looks up your family bush.

What’s the difference between a children’s hospital and an ISIS training camp?

I dunno, I just fly the drones

What's the difference between a good joke?

and a bad joke timing

My teenage son is obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine.

But I'm sure it's just a phase.

I think it's best to wear two different deodorants, one for each armpit

But that's just my two scents