Partner jokes

My girlfriend asked me to name off all my sexual partners in order

I probably should've stopped when I got to her name

What's a cowboy's favorite vehicle?

Audi, partner.

Sherlock Holmes and his partner are walking in the woods...

...they happen upon a tree bearing yellow fruit. Watson asks, "What the hell is that?", Sherlock responds, "A lemon tree my dear Watson."

I asked a kiwi how many sexual partners he had had...

He fell asleep counting.

How can you tell if your sperm count is high?

Your partner has to chew before they swallow.

I hate it when guys call their girlfriends their "partner in crime". Like we get it dude she's underage