I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
Where do dead people buy their cigarettes?
At the coroner store.
In breaking news, Trump’s personal library has burned down.
The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.
I was offered sex from a 21 year old woman...
In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person of high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon and vanilla.
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated...
Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
What confuses a gay person?
Seven
You've gotta hand it to short people..
Usually because they can't reach it