Pizza

What's the quickest way to get a musician off your front porch?

Tip him for the pizza.

What should you do when a musician comes to your door?

Pay him and take your pizza.

My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant.

I can't take anything out in time.

What's the volume of a pizza with a radius of z and a thickness of a?

Pi * z * z * a

What's the difference between a Humanities student and a large order of pizzas?

One of them can feed a family.

What do Mexicans use to cut pizzas?

Little Ceasers

It was my birthday...

Not that long ago I had a birthday. My girlfriend had no idea what to gift me. Then, on a whim, she said, “I know. Let’s watch a porn and we can do everything they do.” I was really excited until she fucked the pizza guy.

What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?

They both can smell it but can't eat it.

What makes a good pizza joke?

It’s all in the delivery

If you were food, what would you be?

Friend 1: Pizza because I’m so cheesy. Friend 2: Chocolate chip cookie because I have lots of friends. Me: Donut because I’m so empty inside.

Just burnt my hawaiian pizza in my oven tonight..

Should have used aloha temperature....

What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it?

A pepperonly pizza!