Plank jokes

As a kid I was made to walk the plank.

We couldn't afford a dog.

How I learned to miknd my own business:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."

The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.

Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14... 14... 14..."!

What do you call a dead body and two planks?

A "Build your own Jesus" kit.