Pressure jokes

You know what sucks?

Negative Pressure

Anyone wanna buy a broken barometer?

No pressure.

I had five hundred Hershey Bars in my fridge and my friend had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.

That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.

Yesterday, in a job interview, the guy asked me if I could perform under pressure.

I said no, but, I would give Bohemian Rapsody a go.

I heard the titanic got a new job...

She sells sea shells down by the sea floor.

I hear it's a pretty high pressure job.

Lately people have been trying to get me to jump off a dock

But I don't give into pier pressure.

Women are like the salt of my life

They raise my blood pressure