Puppy jokes

My mate Paddy called me last night.

He said, "My dog had nine puppies 12 weeks ago and now apparently they are worth £600 each."

"Fucking hell, mate." I said, "Drinks are on you then!"

He said, "I'm not selling them."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Well," he said, "If they're worth £600 each now, can you imagine what they'll be worth in 10 years?"

This one time, I cried, when my dad chopped up Onions.

I loved Onions, she was such a nice, sweet, little puppy

A psychic just told me I'd go through an unbelievable pain in 12 years

To cheer myself up, I bought a puppy!