Restaurant jokes

Texan

Texan

A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London

The waiter tells them, "Excuse me -- if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease." The Texan says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"

Lawyer

Lawyer

2 lawyers are in a restaurant eating their sandwiches.

The owner walks in and says, "You can't eat your own food in here!"

The lawyers sigh and swap sandwiches.

Thing

Thing

There is only one thing I don’t like about ordering duck in a Chinese restaurant

The bill

Couple

Couple

Two older couples were having breakfast.

Old man 1: We went to the best restaurant last night

Old man 2: What's its name?

Old man 1: Oh, I have such a terrible memory. What's that red flower?

Old man 2: Carnation?

Old man 1: No, the one with the thorns.

Old man 2: Rose?

Old man 1: That's it. (turns to his wife) Hey Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?

Jedi

Jedi

How much dessert does a dieting Jedi eat at an Italian restaurant?

Only one cannoli.