Shelf jokes

My wife asked why I keep my guns in the library.

I said it's for shelf-defense.

A book fell on my head...

I can only blame my shelf.

I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn’t reach the meat that was on the top shelf

He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high.

The wife was nagging me for ages to put a shelf up in the front room, but as I am shit at DIY I thought that I should get some advice.

So I went to the library and asked the woman there, "do you have any books on shelves?"

My friend was just crushed by a bunch of books!

I guess he only has his shelf to blame

I came home and found my books all over the floor

There's nobody to blame but my shelf.