Side jokes

What did the stick man say after he fell on his side?

ok

France and Italy go to war. Who wins?

Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides

A blonde sees a another blonde across a lake and asks "How do I get to the other side?" the other blonde replies...

"You are on the other side".

How does an attorney go to sleep?

First he lies on one side, then the other!!

What's it called when a crab is walking to it's part time job?

A side hustle.

On the bright side...

We can look forward to four more years of Michelle Obama speeches from our First Lady.

Why did the chicken kill itself ?

To get to the other side.

The Talking Clock

A guy picks up a woman in a bar and they go to his apartment. In the bedroom there's a brass gong and a wooden mallet hanging from a stand and the woman says "What's that for?" The guy says "That's a talking clock. I'll show you how it works." He hits the gong as hard as he can and when the sound dies away a voice from the other side of the wall says "Hey asshole! It's 3:15 in the morning!"

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, my fingers because I can always count on them, my head for staying on top of things, my nuts for hanging in there, and my dick for standing up for me.

Saw a woman get her nipple pierced in front of me at the bar last night.

On a side note, I am absolutely terrible at darts.

A southern girl and a northern girl meet.

A girl from the South and a girl from the North were seated side by side on a plane. The girl from the South, being friendly and all, said, "So, where ya'll from?"

The Northern girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."

The girl from the South sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So, where ya'll from, bitch?"

An English man, French ,Italian and German are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer.

The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded: "Yes" "Oui" "Sì" "Ja"

Two blondes are on either sides of a river.

The 1st blonde yells to the other, "How do I get to the other side?!".

The 2nd blonde thinks for a moment and then yells back, "You're already on the other side!"