In honor of my dad, who passed away on Wednesday...here is his favorite joke.
Man finds the magic mirror (from Snow White) and gets excited to have his wish come true. So he chants: Magic Mirror on the Wall, make my penis touch the floor!
poof
His penis touches the floor.
His legs are also shorter. Way. Shorter.
Grandma's been staring through the window ever since it started to snow.
If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
Why did the snowman take his pants off?
He heard the snow blower was coming.
The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best.
Winter: Well you can build snowmen, and the snow is so beautiful. And Christmas!! Everyone loves Christmas!
Spring: Well sure but come springtime everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!
Summer: yes but I am undoubtably the overall best season, girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that. What about you autumn what do you have to offer?
Autumn: * leaves *
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
Record low temperatures causing snow and freezing all over the southern United States.
Finally: white people in Texas are having problems with ICE.
What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Snow balls
A child asked Santa Claus
“How did your reindeer get their names?”
Santa replied, “I named them after memories, like pranced frolicking through the snow!”
“What about Donner?” the child asked.
A shadow settled on Santa’s face, and after a moment he began: “The year was 1847, and snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada ....”
BAD NEWS
President Trump awakens one Winter morning to discover someone has peed “Impeach Trump” in the snow. He calls the Secret Service to investigate.
When they return, they tell the President that they have bad news and even worse news. The bad news is that it’s Vice President Pence’s urine. This infuriates the President, who then asks what could be worse than that.
The Secret Service informs them that it’s Melania’s handwriting.
Why do Indians hate snow?
It's white and it's on their land.