When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend was cooking breakfast in nothing than a T-shirt... ...when I came downstairs, she told me she needed me to have sex with her right away...
Needless to say I was thrilled, so we did it right there in the kitchen...
...she immediately went back to cooking... we didn't usually do stuff like that, so I hesitantly asked, "so...what was that all about?"
She said, "I had 5 minutes left on the casserole, but the timer broke."
My friend went on holiday to Havana...
...and asked me what gift I would like him to get for me. I said get me "something Cuban", but he got me a Che Guevara t shirt.
Clothes, but no cigar.
I saw a guy wearing a T-shirt with the tag "Life = God + Righteousness"
I hope he understands that it also means; "God = Life - Righteousness" and "Righteousness = Life - God".
A little boy calls his best friend on Christmas day...
“HEY! So what did you get for Christmas?” The second little boy pauses and says “well I got a gift card and a t-shirt...you?”
The first little boy excitedly replies ”Oh man, I got a new scooter, a new 3DS XL. A PS Vita. A new bike and were going to Disneyland on Friday. Can’t believe all you got was a gift card and t-shirt!” to which the second little boy replies “well...at least I don’t have cancer...”