Tire jokes

I'm sick and tired of your obsession with walkietalkies, this relationship is over!

This relationship is what? Over.

A daughter is in a fierce argument with her father

The dad is yelling, she's inconsolable and crying. She finally gets sick and tired of it, and storms up to her bedroom.

Before entering, she lashes out at her father "Oh, and more thing: Jim Morrison is a terrible artist!"

The father, filled with rage yells back "Young lady, there will be NO slamming of The Doors in this house!"

You know what, as a Jew, I'm getting really tired of these Jewish jokes.

We need to stop giving them away for free and figure out a way to monetize them.

A Woody Joke

What wood happen if you had a Wooden Car

With Wooden Seats

Wooden Tires

And A Wooden Engine?

It Wooden't Start

Louis CK helped me change a flat tire.

All I had to do was watch him jack it.

A boy walks in on his dad masturbating.

The boy, curious asks him, "Dad, what are you doing?"

The father replies, "This is called masturbating, and pretty soon you will be doing it also."

The kid, puzzled, asks, "How do you know that?"

The father goes "Because my arm is getting tired."

My wife asked me to buy organic vegetables from the market, so I went and looked around and couldn’t find any. I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and asked, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”

The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have to do that yourself.”

An altar boy walks in to find his priest masturbating furiously...

Emabarrassed, he begins to back out of the room when the priest says "Sean, this is perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of; you'll be doing it yourself soon enough".

Skeptical, Sean says "Really, Father?"

The priest replies "Sure you will, my wrist is getting tired!"

why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp?

Cause she's probably thick and tired of it