Friend
My friends call me 007 when i play call of duty with them.
0 Kills
0 Assist
7 Deaths
0 jokes
Study
BREAKING: New Study Shows Getting Hit in the Testicles is More Painful than Childbirth
After childbirth 34% of women said “Yes” they would like to have another child.
After getting hit in the testicles ~0% of men said “Yes” they’d like to do that again.
Man
A man and a woman were in bed getting ready to sleep...
...sudendly the man farts and tries to think of an excuse.
-1:0 I am winning, - says the man. Few moments later the woman lets out a big fart.
-1:1 draw, - says the woman with a smile on her face.
Man does not want to lose so he tries and tries to fart very hard. Sudendly he farts and craps all over his bed side.
-Half time break, change of sides, - says the man calmly.
1
Why does 0 = 1?
Cos 0 = 1
Chemist
Chemists in a pub
After a long day, two chemists, Bill and Bob, go to a pub to unwind. Bob says to the barkeeper, "I'll just have a glass of H^2 0." Bill chimes in, "I'll have a glass of water too". They take a seat as he asks Bob, "Why did you refer to water with its chemical composition?" Bob did not answer, fuming that his assassination attempt had failed.
Bar
A software tester walks into a bar.
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
99999999 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar goes up in flames.
Survey
We conducted an online survey....
...and found that out of the world's population, 0% of people are Amish.