Africa

Where were thr first gas cars invented?

In Africa, they Madagascar.

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.

One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'

The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.

"Which part did you get?"

U2 was playing a concert in Ireland...

Bono took a pause after one of his songs, waited for the arena to go silent, and started clapping very slowly.

He then spoke softly "Everytime I clap" *clap* "A child dies in Africa" *clap*

And that's when some drunk guy stood up and shouted "Well then stop clapping you asshole!"

Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Africa isn't a country.

"Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?"

"Rhino!"

"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn."

The Parrot Says ...

A black guy walks into a bar with a magnificent looking parrot perched on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, that's awesome, where'd ya' get that thing?" And the parrot says: "Africa."

I always wondered why you hear stories of vampires in Europe but never Africa.

Then I remembered vampires are killed by holy water, and they bless the rain down in Africa

Why are there no vampires in africa?

Because they blessed the rains down in africa.

At 18 a woman is like Africa, wild and untamed.

At 28 a woman is like Asia, exotic and beautiful.

At 38 a woman is like America, flourishing and in the prime of life.

At 48 a woman is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.

At 58 a woman is like Australia, everyone knows it's down there but nobody gives a damn.