The Washington Redskins finally decided to drop their offensive name.
Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as, "The Redskins." It was reported that he finds the word "Washington" imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.
A small plane crashed in the middle of the desert. The pilot and co-pilot wandered around for days in search of food, but could find nothing. Finally the co-pilot announced: ‘I’m so hungry....
I’m going to chop off my dick and eat it.’ ‘Before you do,’ said the pilot. ‘Think of your girlfriend.’ ‘What’s the point? At this rate I will never see her again anyway.’ ‘I know, but if you think of her first, hopefully there will be enough for both of us
Demi Lovato announced they are non-binary today
Congratulations Themi Lovato!
When Canada was first unified, they realized they needed a name for this new country, so they decided to draw letters oot of a basket to name it.
The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"
Apple's stock surges on announcement of two-child policy change in China
Move to the left!
"A pastor announced, "If you know your wife is controlling you, move to the left".
All the men in the church moved to the left except one man.
The pastor was happy there was at least one strong man, and asked," How come your wife can't control you?"
The man quietly replied, "It's my wife who told me not to move".
A plane is about to crash
A female passenger gets up and frantically announces, "if I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "here iron this."
OnlyFans has just announced that it is removing all pornography on october 1st.
I suggested they change their name to LonelyFans, but i dunno
Marvel Comics have announced a new female, Muslim superhero who can fly.
Which is handy, cause she's not allowed to drive.
President Biden has announced water is now only legal in three states.
Solid, liquid and gas.
Every morning at breakfast for the past year 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.
It’s my longest running joke of the year.
Marvel have announced their newest Superhero team, one consisting entirely of Trans-woman.
The Ex-Men.
My grandpa's favorite joke
This works better in my native language, but I am going to do my best to try to translate it effectively.
At the end of a good day's work, an accountant goes home and announces proudly to his wife "Honey, I missed the bus today but I saved $2 by chasing after it all the way home! "
His wife fixes him with a look of pure contempt and says "You fool!! You could have saved $75 if you'd only chased after a cab."