Christian jokes

I broke up with my girlfriend when she told me she used to be Christian.

I only knew her as Christina and this was too much of a shock.

Jew problems

An old jew comes to a rabbi and says: "Please help me, my son became a christian!"

The rabbi replies: "i can't help you, god has the same problem."

A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.

The guy behind the counter says, “Male or female ?”

The customer says, “Female.”

The counter guy asks, “Black or white?”

The customer says, “White.”

The counter guy asks, “Christian or Muslim?”

The customer says, “What does religion have to do with it?”

The counter guy says, “The Muslim one blows itself up.”

An atheist in the forest...

stumbles upon a bear. The bear rears up to attack and the atheist yells "oh god no!" time stops and he hears the voice of god say "you called for me my son?" the atheist responds "I would ask you to save me, but that would be hypocritical, so instead, can you make the bear a christian?" he hears "I shall do this for you my son". Time resumes and the bear stops, puts his paws together and says "God in the heavens.... thank you for this meal you have provided me with today, amen"

It's strange to see Christians advocating abstinence only sex education...

According to their own religion, even abstinence isn't 100% effective.

A Christian, a Jew, a Muslim, an atheist, and a Pagan all walk into a Starbucks

And they chat, enjoy coffee, laugh, become friends, and have a wonderful time.

This isn't a joke, by the way. It's just what happens when you're not a dickhead

What's the difference between an atheist and an evangelical Christian?

The atheist is honest about not following the teachings of Christ.

There are three religious truths:

Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.

An Atheist and a Christian walk into a bar...

...they proceed to have a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they're not pretentious assholes