Crime

I recently decided to apply for Australian citizenship, and I was surprised at some of the questions they asked.

Like, they asked if I had ever been convicted of a crime. I had no idea that was still a requirement.

They say criminals always return to the scene of the crime.

No wonder there are so many Australians in the UK.

If ever I commit murder, I'm doing it with Indian flatbread.

Naan violent crimes get shorter sentences in respect for their counterparts.

When are minorities not minorities?

When you look at crime statistics.

Officer 1: This murder seems racially motivated.

Officer 2: Hate crime?

Officer 1: Of course I hate crime, idiot. That’s why I became a cop.

If you commit a crime 90 times, you'll only get caught 45 times...

Because sin90 = cot45.

A policeman is told to write a report at a crime scene.

Policeman: the dead man was found lying on the pawemant......he is lying on the pave.........p a v e

*The policeman kicks the body onto the street*

Policeman: the dead man was found lying on the street.

The government offered to buy back all my guns

I turned them down

I don't feel right selling fire arms to organized crime.

My brother did one like that after a long string of pirate jokes.

"What's a pirate's favourite crime?"

"Arrrrson," I said, chuckling at my cleverness.

"You idiot," he replied, "it's obviously Piracy."

I hate it when guys call their girlfriends their "partner in crime". Like we get it dude she's underage