There are three men, Nobody, No-one and Stupid.
They were on a fishing trip in Canada when the first fell in the river, and began to drown, as he had never learned to swim as a child.
The second stayed behind to help rescue him from the river.
The third ran to the nearest police station and explained the situation to the first police officer he saw.
"Officer! Come quickly, Nobody is drowning in the river and No-one is helping him!"
"Are you stupid?" Asked the officer
"I am, yes, nice to meet you."
A German tourist jumped into the water to save my dog who was drowning, after he climbed out he passed me the dog and said “here is ze dog keep him warm and dry him off and he vill he fine”.
I said “are you a vet?” He replied “Vet?...I’m fucking soaking.”
Chuck Norris Joke
A priest, Jesus and Chuck Norris are on a sinking boat. Jesus starts to walk back to land. Chuck Norris does the same. The priest says "Lord, please let me walk on water", tries to walk but drowns. When Jesus and Chuck Norris got on land Jesus asked him "Shouldn't we have told him where the stones are"? And Chuck answered "Which stones"
A man walks in on his wife cheating on him with his best friend, so he heads to the bar to drown his sorrows.
He walks up to the bar and the bartender notices hes upset so he asks "why the long face?"
"I just caught my wife having sex with my best friend," says the guy.
To which the bartender replies, "thats terrible! What did you say to your wife when you caught her?"
"I told her to pack her stuff and get out of my house immediately."
"Well what did you say to your best friend," asks the bartender.
"Bad boy"
If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one...
What type of sandwich would you make?
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Did you hear about the atheist mom who drowned her six kids?
She said no one told her to do it.
How do you drown a hipster?
Throw them in the mainstream
I’ve always wanted a swimmers body so I go to the swimming pool everyday...
But no one ever drowns
I had a dream I was drowning in an ocean of orange soda
Thank god it was only a Fanta sea
