Trump

A good nickname for Donald Trump would be "Slinky"

He serves no real purpose but it would make me smile to push him down some stairs.

I want Donald Trump to be my parole officer...

...he never lets anybody finish a sentence.

I have a joke about the exceptional healthcare and medicine Trump took to recover from COVID.

But, no one else would get it.

What do a thong bikini and Donald's Trump's hair have in common.

They both barely cover the asshole. (gota give Seth Myer credit for this one).

You know they say orange is the new black

I guess that's why Trump is president

The Mexicans are upset about Trump’s wall

but they’ll get over it.

two hardcore trump supporters die and ascend to heaven.

God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, “yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?”.

God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232”.

After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, “This goes higher up than we thought”.

If Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Barr, Stephen Miller, and Jared Kushner we're on Air Force One together and the plane were to suddenly crash, who would survive?

The United States of America.

Please stop calling Donald Trump an idiot.

As an idiot myself, it's very offensive that people think he's one of us.

I wasn't allowed to join the Trump campaign because I was circumcised.

Apparently, you need to be a complete dick.

What do you call a zombie at a trump rally?

Starving

How are Donald Trump and a jack o' lantern alike?

They're both orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be thrown out the first week of November.

Trump was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President Sucks."

Infuriated, Trump called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.

"The bad news is that the urine is from Putin."

"Vlad? How could he do this to me? What could be worse than this?"

"The handwriting's is Melania's."

President Trump has tested positive for COVID-19

Doctors are expecting a swift recovery, citing that the virus is a hoax and fake news.

Why did Trump push for Congress to change the national bird after seeing one get sick in a zoo?

He hates ill eagles.

A political joke for both sides:

Joe Biden has forgotten more about governing than Trump ever learned.

What type of clothing does Trump have a secret collection of?

Russian ties.

Why does Donald Trump take anti-anxiety pills?

To prevent Hispanic attacks

US President Donald Trump tested and was not infected by the Corona virus. Experts from the Robert Koch Institute are not surprised.

The virus has been shown to affect lungs, not assholes.

Donald Trump is really a proved racist and sexist, because...

He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house...

Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall

On the condition that he gets to install windows.

"Allegedly Trump gave Russians intelligence "

I wonder how much he had in the first place and how much he is left with.

How do you get Trump to change a light bulb?

Tell him Obama put it in.

What did the Mexicans say when they heard Trump was building a wall?

We’ll get over it.

What is the difference between a Joe Biden speech and a Donald Trump speech?

When Biden is speaking you wonder if he's had a stroke.

When Trump is speaking you wonder if you've had a stroke.