Element jokes

What's a pirate's favorite element?

Gold, duh. What the fuck is a pirate going to do with Argon?

Creative Writing

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, sex, mystery.

The prize winning essay read: "My God!" said the Queen. "I am pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table. I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams. When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said....

I should mind my own bismuth.

A man recently died after a periodic table display fell on him...

The official cause of death was, "Exposure to the Elements".