University

University

Woman

Woman

I was waiting for the green light at the crossing and saw an old woman walking with a little child...

The excited child was walking bit faster towards the crossing than the old lady. She then shouted, "Degree, wait for me!" I was so amazed to hear such an unusual name. So to satisfy my curiousity, I walked closer to the woman and asked; "Ma, why do u call your grand child Degree?" The woman laughed and said "I sent her mother to University for education and this is what she brought home instead."

Class

Class

Creative Writing

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, sex, mystery.

The prize winning essay read: "My God!" said the Queen. "I am pregnant. I wonder who did it?"

Yahweh

Yahweh

"So you're saying that the entire universe, and everything in it, was created by one being? No way."

"Yahweh."

Science

Science

There's a University called the National University of Science and Technology

It's not called the National University of Technology and Science, because that would be NUTS.

Joke

Joke

A joke my grandmother, of all people, told me when I was a kid.

I don't know how many of y'all have heard this joke, but here it goes. Two guys were at a University of Georgia football game when one of them looks down at the Georgia Bulldog sidelines and sees Uga, the school mascot, licking himself like dogs like to do. The guy smiles, leans over to his buddy while pointing at Uga and says, "Man, I wish I could do that". His friend looks back at him in surprise and says, "Man, that dog would bite you!"

Sock

Sock

Quantum entanglement is not hard to understand:

Socks come in pairs. If you put a sock on your left foot, the other sock of the pair instantly becomes the “right sock,” no matter where it is located in the universe.

Deal

Deal

I'm a screenwriter and I just signed an amazing 2-year deal with the parent company of Universal Pictures!

I'm going to be getting the basic cable plus HBO.

Change

Change

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control

I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"