Grade jokes

What if I tell you there is a way to stop all the kids in the school making fun of you because you are still a virgin?

Just start giving them bad grades.

My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because.

It's my way or the Huawei.

A Seventh Grade Health Class

was learning about pregnancy. Young Suzy asks her teacher, "Can my grandma get pregnant?" Her teacher replies that no, she can't, shes far too old. Suzy then asks if her fifty year old mother could get pregnant. Her teacher tells her no, shes a little too old for that. Suzy, puzzled, asks if she can get pregnant. Her teacher freaks out and tells her "Don't even think about it young lady, you're far too young!" Johnny pipes up from the back of class "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about!"

At the 3rd grade violin rehearsal ...

... Donnie Corleone Jr. walks in, opens his violin case and unveils, to the shock of all, a tommy gun. The teachers are livid, panic nearly ensues, but Donnie just starts laughing uncontrollably.

"What's wrong with you? This is serious! Why are you laughing?"

"Because I just imagined dad holding up the bank with my violin."

The first joke I made up at age 7 - found in my first grade journal

Q: Where do robbers go to the bathroom

A: Arrest-room

Waiting for election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project.

I know I did my part right, but I am worried the rest of you screwed it up.

A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.

His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded

"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"

Thank you to my first grade teacher for explaining the word "many" to me.

It means a lot.

What kind of grades did Tommy Wiseau get in school?

Oh, high marks

Student walks into professor's office

She says, "I'm just not doing very well in your class. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to raise my grade?"

The professor looks her up and down and asks, "What are you willing to do to raise your grade?"

"I'd do *anything*," she answers coyly, playing with her hair.

"Anything?"

"*Anything*!" she repeats with a knowing grin.

"Would you....study?"

father:how are your grades son?

son: underwater, dad

father: underwater? what do you mean?

son:they're below C level

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18

I think I'm failing my marine biology class

My grade is below C level.